What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
