return my video game
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
