hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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