just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
