Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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