I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
