It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
