i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
