hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
