he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize