Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
