I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
