Sry I called you an 8
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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