hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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