To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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