so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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