You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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