Don't make out with my wife yet
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
