just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
