Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
