pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
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I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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