I wannas sexs uuuuu
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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