i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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