Got a toothbrush?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
