You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
