she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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