i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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