there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
