I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
