it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't turn off my feet"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
