Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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