If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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