What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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