let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
