Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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