He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
