Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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