I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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