trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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