the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
