i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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