i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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