Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
