There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
