how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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