I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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