My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My balls are so social today.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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