I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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