her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
