you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Randomize
