Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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