I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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