Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
