At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
