Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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