I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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