Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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