will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
