Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize