I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
