We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!