question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
