Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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