Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
