I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was like eating out sand paper
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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