I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
