Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
