so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
