Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
