dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
